This past Sunday I was taking a walk on a part of our beautiful property that I had not yet explored and had my first encounter with a grey rhebok.
This beautiful animal (the photo is not mine - but looks a great deal like the reebok I encountered) is part of the antelope family and the male, which is pictured, defends itself and the herd with those apparently very sharp horns. When we encountered each other my friend the rhebok stared me down for a very long time while I just watched him and reveled in his beauty. These creatures of God live naturally only in southern Africa and at elevations above 1,000 meters. As we watched each other from a safe distance my friend became remarkably still and waited and waited and then waited some more until suddenly he bolted into the high grassy area from which he came. And at the time, I said to myself "that rhebok knows himself, he is just doing what he is meant to be doing."
I'm not really sure why I said that to myself, but I think it was because I was disappointed that it ran off, as I wanted to spend more time with him and I hoped that he could sense that I would not harm him. I suppose that's the side of me that at one point considered a Franciscan vocation as opposed to a Benedictine vocation. But we monks have a pretty decent record in the area of loving all creation too!
But I also think that statement to myself was the beginning of the formation of a question I have periodically asked myself since I was a teenager. On my walk back to the enclosure, I began thinking about what it means to know myself. I've thought about it all week.
And then this morning during the Office of Vigils the second reading of the Office, which is generally taken from one of the Church Fathers or some other holy source, our brother John, announced that the reading was an excerpt from the "Refutation of All Heresies" by Hippolytus of Rome (170 - 235 A.D.).
Hippolytus was a disciple of Irenaeus (d. 202 A.D.) who is perhaps my favorite theologian but I will admit that the first thought that entered my head when I heard this was "6:00 in the morning is way to early to listen to anything about heresy, even if it is from a disciple of Irenaeus." But in the end, I'm very glad I did listen. That is, after all, the first thing a monk is supposed to do - listen.
I'm glad I listened because the question that my friend the rhebok helped me to formulate was brought full circle with an answer from my friend Hippolytus when he said:
This, then, is what it means to know yourself: to recognize and acknowledge in ourselves the God who made us in his image. If we do this, we know that we in turn will be recognized and acknowledged by our Creator.
To my ear that sounds like the work I ought to be doing this Advent - or any Advent - or for that matter at any time of the year. To believe that our God came in the past at that first Christmas is accepted by most Christians; and to believe that our God is coming in the future is sometimes a bit more difficult, but again, most seem to be on board with that. But to "recognize and acknowledge in ourselves the God who made us in God's image and that this image looks exactly like me...
...seems nearly impossible most days!
In fact, I think it is the most difficult spiritual work of all. It is easy for us to look at Mary the Mother of God, or St. Joseph, or St. John the Baptist or even the shepherds and acknowledge that God dwelt within them and that God's image radiated from them. But look in the mirror or at a photograph of yourself and see God dwelling there? Forget it. We are just too aware of our own shortcomings, failures, weaknesses and sins to believe that we are made in God's image.
Then there are those who go to bed hungry every night; those who don't have a bed to go to; those who have been violated physically, sexually, emotionally; those who stand at a border begging to be let in; those who find themselves wrestled to the ground and unable to breathe just because of their race; and imagine how difficult it is for them - for us - to recognize and acknowledge in ourselves that God dwells within and not only that but created us in God's image.
But to only know that side of yourself is to only know part of the story. It is not to know how precious you are in the Creator's eyes - so precious that God would give part of Godself to you, in you.
So here's is my Advent invitation to you: Look at that picture of me that I so boldly placed into this blog entry and replace it - either in your mind or actually by copying and pasting - with a picture of yourself. See God's image begging you to set it free by recognizing and acknowledging that you are in fact created in God image. That little by little this Advent, this Christmas, this Epiphany, this Lent, this Easter-tide, this Pentecost - you are getting to know yourself. And in getting to know yourself you are getting to know God a little more deeply, a little more fully.
To do this requires, I believe, living more deeply each day into a contemplative life. That does not mean you have to run off to a monastery (though that is a great choice!). It does mean you have to sit down with yourself, or take a walk, or meet a rhebok, or study the wisdom tradition of our faith - in silence, in solitude - as well as in community - and learn to be with God. And in learning to be with God, I think we learn who we are. In fact, I'm not sure there is any other way.
If you do this there are enormous implications and that is what I'll be exploring in these next few entries. May the God who created you in God's image bless you and keep you as we enter these last days of Advent.
Peace be upon you.
